Ending up with a worse exam result than you had hoped for or expected, a friend cancelling a plan you were really looking forward to, or your favourite sports team losing a game.
以比你希望或预期的更差的考试成绩告终，朋友取消了你非常期待的计划，或者你最喜欢的运动队输了一场比赛。
Disappointment is an unhappy feeling when there is a gap between your expectations and reality, when something you desired failed to materialise.
失望是一种不愉快的感觉，当你的期望和现实之间存在差距，当你渴望的事情未能实现时。
It's a normal and natural reaction, but what to do?
这是一种正常和自然的反应，但该怎么办？
Is it best to forget about it and move on, or allow yourself to feel the feels?
最好是忘记它继续前进，还是让自己感受这些情绪？
We often can't control what happens in life, but we can control how we respond when things don't go our way.
我们通常无法控制生活中发生的事情，但我们可以控制当事情不顺利时我们如何回应。
Dr Radha Modgil, a UK family doctor and campaigner for wellbeing, says that we should take time to process the disappointment.
英国家庭医生兼健康倡导者Radha Modgil博士说，我们应该花时间处理失望情绪。
We can often feel the need to move on straight away or ignore our feelings, but if we take time to process them and talk them through, we can move forward in a healthier way, she says.
她说，我们常常觉得需要立即继续前进或忽视我们的感受，但如果我们花时间处理它们并把它们说清楚，我们就能以更健康的方式前进。
Next, she advises us to see the opportunities.
接下来，她建议我们看到机会。
Things may not have worked out this time, but when one door closes, a different, more exciting door may have opened, in a way that may one day make you grateful for the initial disappointment.
事情这次可能没有成功，但当一扇门关闭时，另一扇不同、更令人兴奋的门可能已经打开，这种方式可能有一天会让你对最初的失望心存感激。
The wider the gap between expectations and reality, the greater the disappointment.
期望和现实之间的差距越大，失望就越大。
Make sure your goals are realistic, not idealistic, says Dr Annette Clancy, an organisational consultant who researches emotions in the workplace.
研究职场情绪的组织顾问Annette Clancy博士说，确保你的目标是现实的，而不是理想化的。
Think about what a realistic result would be, rather than the perfect one.
想想什么样的结果是现实的，而不是完美的。
When waiting for something significant like a job offer or test result, her advice is to not get ahead of yourself.
在等待像工作机会或测试结果这样重要的事情时，她的建议是不要超前。
When we anticipate a positive result, we often start imagining a future that doesn't yet exist, and if that future doesn't materialise, we then have to grieve its loss, which can be upsetting.
当我们预期一个积极的结果时，我们常常开始想象一个还不存在的未来，如果那个未来没有实现，我们就不得不哀悼它的失去，这可能令人沮丧。
Try not to take it personally.
尽量不要个人化。
Disappointment might make you think, I'm not good enough, and lead you to blame yourself, affecting your self-esteem.
失望可能会让你想，我不够好，并导致你责备自己，影响你的自尊。
It may cause you to blame others, making you angry that they did not recognise your value.
它可能让你责备他人，使你因为他们没有认识到你的价值而生气。
Dr Annette Clancy says both reactions miss the point.
Annette Clancy博士说，这两种反应都不得要领。
Instead, see disappointment as a signal that our expectations and reality are not aligned.
相反，将失望看作一个信号，表明我们的期望和现实不一致。
Understanding this, she says, can be an important way to develop resilience.
她说，理解这一点可能是培养韧性的重要方法。
